


Devoid of Color

by deancastrash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Season 11, attack dog spell, destiel if u squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 14:44:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4839365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deancastrash/pseuds/deancastrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is done with the Winchester's bullshit and it's about damn time he actually did something about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Devoid of Color

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea what this is. this was supposed to be entirely cas being bitter about dean because i am bitter about dean but i am also a destiel trash can and cas + happiness trash can. anyway, i hope you enjoy this. 
> 
> come be bitter with me on [tumblr](http://queencas.tumblr.com)

It was so dark. The room smelled of sulfur, and Castiel just wanted to get out. He wanted to go home. A home that doesn’t exist. Cas tried to breathe, but the cover they put over his head made it nearly impossible. He wished he was human, he wished he could just suffocate so he wouldn’t have to exist in this world anymore, in this world of red and black and evil.

He knew it wouldn’t be long until the demons returned, so he braced himself when he heard footsteps coming towards him and a door opening. The steps walked towards him and removed the bag that was over his head. Cas looked up at the torturer, it was the same demon that’s been going at him for days. Her name was Brenna, she had straight brown hair that went down to her lower back and bright blue eyes that were similar to Castiel’s. But that was just her vessel, underneath that was a disgusting soul that Castiel could go without describing.

“How are you, Castiel?” Brenna asked sarcastically as she picked up the metal contraption that was on a table next to Castiel.

“I’ve been better,” Cas growled at her, wishing he could get out of the restraints and kill her.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how I’m doing?” She whined, placing the metal contraption on Cas’ head.

Cas didn’t respond.

“Well, I am doing excellent, if you must ask. It’s been the best 3 days of my life,” she smiled at him and placed a metal rod through the contraption and pushed it into Castiel’s forehead. He screamed as it pierced his brain. “Oh, don’t be a baby, Castiel. It’s not that bad.”

 _Like she would know_ , Cas thought, _this is literally a device meant for torturing angels_.

She stuck in every rod excruciatingly slow, and Castiel couldn’t stop screaming. Maybe someone would hear him, maybe someone would get him out of here. He doubted it.

When the contraption was fully connected to Castiel’s head, she started twisting. It was worse that having the rods get put in his head, the whole world could probably hear him now. Castiel didn’t know what she expected to get out of him, there was nothing to tell. He didn’t know anything, he doesn’t know how he could survive a spell like this. All they were going to get was information they already knew from when they hacked into Samandriel’s brain.

Brenna got frustrated, this has been repeating for the past 3 days. Cas would mumble enochian after screaming in pain, and Brenna would scream in frustration and put the bag over his head again and walk out the room. But this time, she didn’t walk out.

“Fine,” Brenna said, “if nothing will make you talk, I guess I’ll just have my fun then.” She took out an angel blade from behind her and Castiel immediately tried to sink into the chair, even though he knew that wouldn’t do anything. He squeezed onto the armrests of the chair, wishing he had enough strength to just break it and escape. “I’ll start by carving out those pretty blue eyes of yours.”

Cas braced himself when she put the blade right above his eyebrow and started dragging it around his eye. White light shone through the marks she was making, and Castiel did his best not to seem afraid.

The door opened when she got to his eyelid. It was Dean. Castiel was shocked, to say the least. He wasn’t expecting him to come help him, let alone know where he was. The conversation they had a few days ago over the phone didn’t go very well.

_“Hey, Cas.”_

_“Dean?”_

_“Hey, look, we’re in some shit right now-”_

_“Dean, I’m in some shit right now. Rowena put a curse on me.”_

_“You sound fine to me. Talk to me about the Darkness.”_

_“Why would I talk about the Darkness?”_

_“We need to know how majorly screwed we are-”_

_“No, Dean.”_

_Cas hung up the phone. He didn’t know anything about the Darkness anyway._

The demon spun around towards Dean, not expecting him as much as Cas didn’t expect him. “Winchester,” she growled, “don’t you have better places to be?”

“I felt like ganking a demon today,” Dean replied. He took out his demon knife and flashed it at her like it was a beautiful object that she needed to admire. Then, he darted towards her and shoved the blade into her gut before she could even put up a fight.

“He’s a monster,” she breathed out, “that witch turned him into a monster, good luck curing him because-” she died before she could get out the rest of what she was going to say.

“Cas,” Dean said frantically as if he just noticed he was there. Dean immediately starting working on the rods and pulling each out, it was extremely painful, but Cas didn’t cry in pain. He endured it.

He should have, he should have shown Dean how much this hurt him, maybe Dean would gain some sympathy for once in his life. But Cas has too much will for that.

When Dean was done with the rods, he pulled the contraption off Castiel’s head and Cas sighed in relief. Dean worked on removing the straps from Castiel’s hands and feet. Once Castiel’s hands were released, he put his hands to his head and massaged to release some of the pressure. He was still rubbing his head when Dean had finished getting all the restraints off Cas.

“Your eyes-” Dean began to say but Cas cut him off.

“Why are you here, Dean?”

“We needed to come get you,” Dean replied and reached for Cas to help him out of the chair but Cas flinched back. Hurt flashed across Dean’s face.

“I can get up myself,” Cas mumbled but didn’t make an effort to move.

“No, you can’t, man. Look at yourself. How long have you been sitting there?”

“Three days.”

“They’ve been torturing you for that long?” Dean asked. Cas nodded his head. “Are you okay?”

“Does it look like I’m okay?” Cas was pretty far from okay, he just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up again. He wished he had that luxury.

“Good point,” Dean’s face softened and he reached out to help Cas get up again and this time Cas let him. He slung his arm over Dean’s shoulder and tried not to put all his weight on him, but it was hard. His legs felt like jello. He wished he wasn’t so weak, he could have healed himself in an instant, but now it’ll probably take days to heal and Dean’s probably going to expect him to be ready to fight at any moment’s notice.

They stumbled through the building as Cas tried to focus on getting his leg’s to work but it was hard when Dean was so close to him. He wished it was the same feelings that used to come up when being close to Dean, or even seeing Dean, but recent events and the curse made him realize some things. So, now, mostly what comes is bitterness. He missed the happiness that was associated with Dean Winchester, he missed being so amazed by this bright human soul. He missed what Dean used to be to him, he missed how Dean treated him like he actually mattered, unlike his angelic brothers. He missed when he could call Dean his friend. Now he doesn’t know what Dean is.

The feeling in his legs slowly returned by the time they made it outside and headed towards the Impala. He pushed Dean away from him to show him that he could walk again even if there was a slight limp in his step.

“Dean,” Cas said and Dean stopped walking and turned to Cas, “I’m not going with you.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean asked and anger flooded his eyes, “We-”

“Need me,” Cas nodded, “I know. You always need me.”

“Cas, I have no idea what you’re getting on about.”

“This is the problem, Dean,” Cas began, “you use me up until I’m not good enough for you anymore. You kick me out once I’m not useful. You don’t apologize for _anything_. You act like you can just step on me and not have to deal with the consequences, while here I am, practically on my _hands and knees_ for you whenever you need me. Well, I’m done, Dean. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m sick of you only calling for me when it’s convenient for you. I’ve been here _three_ days, Dean and you just come now. Oh, you’ve had the Darkness to worry about? Well, great. I’m glad you didn’t think of your best friend that could have been dead because he was with the witch that read the ingredients to release it. I’m glad you thought of me when the last time you saw me you almost put a blade through my chest.”

Dean stared at him with his mouth agape. A few moments had gone past and he still didn’t say anything, just stared at Cas like he’d never expected words like that to come out of Castiel’s mouth.

Cas took a step closer to Dean. “You go on and on about this family don’t end in blood crap, but in reality, that’s all your family ends in. All you care about is Sam when it comes down to it and I can’t believe it took me this long to realize it. Look around you, Dean. Where are all your friends? Dead. Want to know why? Because all you do is focus on your brother. I’ve died so many times for you, Dean Winchester and I’ve finally realized that I want to live. That won’t happen if I continue to answer to you like you’re my God.”

Dean looked like he was going to throw up. He had his hand pressed to his stomach and his face was in complete shock. He closed his eyes and looked like he was trying to compose himself. “Cas,” Dean let out, his voice cracking on such a simple word. His voice shook as he continued speaking, “you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but you have to understand-”

“No, Dean,” Cas said defiantly, even though his heart hurt for the pain in Dean’s face, “I understand completely. He’s your brother, I get it. He’ll always come first. No matter what. I can’t ask you to not put him first. I’m just saying that codependency isn’t what a sibling relationship should be, you should learn to let other people be important to you too.”

“You _are_ important to me,” Dean looked desperate but Cas didn’t care.

“Why did you come here, Dean?” Cas asked for the second time this night. “Why did you really come here?”

“I needed help with the Darkness,” Dean admitted guiltily.

“Exactly,” Cas said, “you didn’t come here to get me out of torture. You didn’t come here to help me with the cure to Rowena’s curse. Look at my eyes, Dean. Do I look fine to you?”

Dean looked into his eyes and Cas wanted to turn away but he couldn’t. “The attack dog spell,” Dean realized, “how could she put that on an angel?”

“She’s the most powerful witch in the world, Dean and I’m definitely not the most powerful angel.”

“We’ll fix this, Cas,” Dean promised.

“I don’t want you to fix it,” Cas said, “I want you to leave. This spell is going to either turn me into a monster, or it’s going to kill me. I’ve already killed, Dean. It comes in flashes, but I can usually will myself to stop. If it comes down to it, you can find me and you can put me down like every other monster you’ve encountered before. But I don’t want to see you again, Dean. I’m not helping with the Darkness, there are other angels out there that will. I suggest raising the two archangels that aren’t dead. That’s all I can give you.”

“Cas-”

“Goodbye, Dean. Tell Sam thank you for making me work with Rowena because this is what it cost me. I hope you two have a wonderful time trying to fix the Darkness.”

Cas looked into Dean’s green eyes one last time and a tear slipped past one of them, Cas turned away before he went back on what he said.

\-----------------

It was eight months since he last saw Dean, the first few weeks after he spent it running, hiding, fighting, and killing until one day the red in his eyes disappeared and he felt a calmness that hadn’t been in him for a long time. He decided he would live a human life again even if he was a full angel now. He deserved it.

Cas moved into a small apartment in Philadelphia and rescued two cats from the PSPCA. He decided to name them James and Lily after reading all the Harry Potter books because one had red fur and the other had black fur. The cats showed more love for him than the Winchesters ever had.

He had a job at a popular convenience store in Philadelphia and he met someone there. His name was Derrick and he had soft grey eyes and blonde hair that was a little long and was always a bit messy.

“You’re not from Philly, are you?” Derrick asked one night when they were working third shift. It was 2 in the morning and they knew it wouldn’t be at least an hour until anyone would come in.

“Uh...how’d you know?” Cas asked, he’s lived in Philly for two months and no one had ever asked him that question.

“Well, you pronounce water correctly,” he chuckled. Cas saw his point, mostly everyone in this city said wooder instead of water and he still couldn’t figure out why. “You’re too polite to the customers, even here where the policy is shoved down our throats we don’t always abide to it. You act like a friggin’ angel all the time. _Nobody_ who was born and raised in Philadelphia is that nice.”

“You’re pretty nice,” Cas smiled at him.

“No, I’m an asshole,” he grinned at Cas, “sometimes I’ll put extra pickles on somebody’s hoagie just for sheer enjoyment when they asked for none. Especially if they are those asshole kids from Washington, they come in packs and make a ruckus. I’m so glad I’m working 3rd shift more now. I hate kids.”

“Doesn’t a kid from Washington work here?” Cas asked, remembering the 17 year old boy who only works 2nd shift.

“Yeah, John, or whatever. He’s alright. I still don’t like Washington kids,” Derrick scrunched his nose in disgust. “How long have you lived here?”

“Two months,” Cas replied.

“Have you had a cheesesteak yet?”

“No,” Cas knows that they’re pretty much what Philly’s known for but he doesn’t eat and they kind of sounded weird. They had them in the deli but he never bothered to try one.

“Dude,” Derrick stared at him, “I can’t believe you’ve been here for two months and never eaten an authentic cheesesteak.”

“Well, they have them in the deli, I can just try one now,” Cas said even though he didn’t want to.

“No,” Derrick said sternly, “you are not eating a cheesesteak from here. I’m taking you to Steve’s.”

“Steve’s? I thought you were supposed to go to Pat’s or Geno's.”

“Do you think I’m a tourist? Nobody from here goes there, everyone goes to Steve’s if they want a good cheesesteak. Plus, Pat’s and Geno’s are down in South Philly, I’m not driving 40 minutes to get a damn cheesesteak.”

Cas didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but apparently it was with Derrick.

“When are you free?” Derrick asked.

“Uh...whenever,” Cas pretty much had no life except for his cats, but he had to admit it was a pretty good life.

“Well, I think we both have off on Wednesday, so I’ll take you then,” he smiled at Cas before their first customer since midnight walked in.

Derrick brought Cas to Steve’s Prince of Steaks on Wednesday for dinner. He ordered 2 cheesesteaks with wiz and two sodas. They sat down at the tall table that was next to the window and Derrick was already eating his food before Cas even looked at what was laid out in front of him.

“C’mon, man, just try it. You won’t be disappointed,” Derrick unwrapped the paper from the cheesesteak to encourage Cas and pushed it towards him.

Cas sighed and took a bite. It tasted like cheesy molecules. He forced himself to eat the rest even though it was literally pointless, and it was kind of disgusting. He would probably like it if he was human though.

“So?” Derrick asked when he was done.

“It was great,” Cas lied. It made Derrick happy so it was good enough for him.

That was six months ago, now Derrick had moved into Cas’ apartment and Derrick brought his cat named Yoda. When Derrick first moved in, he thought it was really strange that Cas didn’t have a refrigerator, but Cas just told him he couldn’t really afford one. Derrick understood considering they worked the same job even though he thought it was more of a priority than a television.

Cas was happy, he hadn’t thought about the Winchesters in months and he had someone who cared about him. They took care of each other and everything felt right and a little perfect.

But Cas should have known his little perfect world couldn’t have lasted too long. It was in the middle of February and a blizzard had just blown past but light snow was still falling, Derrick was at work and Cas was snuggled up with the three cats on the couch watching TV. It was exactly 8 months since he’d last seen Dean Winchester and when he thought he’d never see him again, there was a knock on his apartment door.

When Cas opened his door, he wasn’t expecting to see him. There was snowflakes in his hair and blood on his jacket. He was as beautiful as Cas remembered.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean smiled a little before glancing into his apartment, “you seem to have made a nice little life here. Can I come in?”

Cas stepped aside to let Dean in, even though he knew he shouldn’t but seeing Dean brought back so many emotions that he couldn’t helped it. For the first time in months, he missed Dean and now he was standing right in front of him. Dean didn’t sit down but Yoda ran up to him and nudged his head at Dean’s ankles. Dean knelt down and petted him.

“What’s this little guy’s name?” Dean asked, looking up at Cas.

“Yoda,” Cas replied.

“You’re a Star Wars fan now?”

“He’s my boyfriend’s cat.”

“Oh,” Dean cleared his throat and stood up, “what about the other two?”

“Both mine. The black one is James and the red one is Lily,” Cas moved to sit on the couch and Lily jumped on his lap. “Sit down.” Dean did. “Why are you here, Dean? I know you didn’t come here to ask me about my cats. I told you I didn’t want to see you again.”

Dean nodded, “I know. I just- I wanted to apologize. I wanted to come before but I knew you wouldn’t have let me. I killed Rowena a few weeks after I saw you, hoping it would break your curse, and I guess it did. We took your advice about the Darkness, we got an angel to break Lucifer and Michael out of the cage and they managed to put away the Darkness with the rest of the angels. So, everything’s back to normal now. Well, you know, how things used to be. There’s still demons and monsters to hunt.”

“That’s great,” Cas said and stroked behind Lily’s ear, “but I thought you were here to apologize.”

“I am,” Dean looked at Cas with pain in his face and Cas wished he could wash it away, “I’m sorry. For everything I’ve put you through, Cas. The truth is, I don’t know what’s happened to me these past couple of years. After Sam almost died, I don’t know- I guess I became a little obsessive of making sure he never got hurt and Sam did the same for me, I mean we’ve always been like that. But this time it hurt my relationships with everyone else and got a lot of people killed. Charlie and Kevin- I’ll never forgive myself for what happened to those two. They didn’t deserve to die that young and they both died helping us. Then, what I did to you that night after I took out the Stynes-” Dean closed his eyes and took a breath before speaking again, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry I ever got that damned Mark. I’m sorry you still wanted to cure me even after I almost killed you. I almost did, Cas, I almost killed you. I don’t know what I would have done if I accidentally missed the book and hit you instead. I know you think that I’ve only ever wanted to use you for my own advantages, but that’s not true, Cas. I’ve always cared about you and I know it didn’t seem like it these past couple of years, but I always have. I still do.”

Dean had tears running down his face and Cas had the urge to reach out and wipe them away but he refrained. Cas wish he knew how to feel, but he didn’t. He could tell Dean was genuine and meant what he was saying because Dean Winchester doesn’t cry over nothing. The problem was Dean was a little too late.

“How’d you find me?” Cas whispered.

“I’ve been looking your name up in every town and city that I’ve had a hunt in,” Dean replied and wiped the tears off his face.

“How did you even know I would use Castiel?” Cas didn’t feel like changing his name again, so he had just started putting “Castiel Novak” on legal documents because it made the most sense.

“I didn’t. But it was worth a shot.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, um,” Dean looked around awkwardly, “look, I’m sorry if this was rude of me to come here but I needed to apologize to you. I wanted you to know that you aren’t just a tool to me, okay? And I wanted to see you, it’s been 8 months. Remember when the Leviathan possessed you and you pretty much exploded in that river? I practically drank myself to death because I thought you were dead. That was for an even longer time. But Sam and I have both grown up a little since we defeated the Darkness and we both realized we hurt people more than we help them. I don’t want to do that anymore. I miss you, Cas. I miss you all the time and I’m sorry I used to push my feelings down so much and never told you that I wish I could be with you all the time, not just when Sam and I need you.”

“Dean…” Cas didn’t really know what to say. Even if all these things Dean were saying did make Cas want to break down and cry and kiss Dean’s stupid face, there was still Derrick. Cas loved Derrick, they made each other happy and he’s become a constant in Castiel’s life that he didn’t want to let go of. Cas wasn’t in love with Derrick, it was hard for an angel to fall for just anyone, but he did love him. They’ve been together for six months, he couldn’t just leave him. “I appreciate you apologizing and all and I accept it but it doesn’t mean it changes anything. I have a life, a good life. I have my cats and someone who loves me. I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Dean nodded, understanding. “I get it, you moved on. I’m happy for you, Cas. It’s just, uh… Sam. He stopped hunting too, he went back to law school and he’s been there a couple of months now. I’ve been hunting by myself because I really have nothing better to do.”

“Oh,” Cas replied, “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Dean sighed, “I wish things were different. I wish you weren’t an angel and I wasn’t a hunter and that we could have just met in some bar somewhere like normal people.”

“Do normal people usually meet in bars?” Cas asked, narrowing his eyes at Dean.

“You have a point,” Dean laughed, “I think I just spend too much time in them.”

“You do,” Cas agreed, “we can still be friends, Dean. I want to be your friend.”

Dean smiled at Cas. “Thanks, buddy. It’s just kind of hard because I still live at the bunker which is 20 hours away from here.”

“I’m not leaving, Dean,” Cas confirmed once again. “I can still call you. We can still keep in touch.”

“Okay,” Dean agreed, “yeah...that’s good. I should go.” Dean stood up. “Thanks for talking to me, Cas.”

“You’re welcome,” Cas stood up and hugged him, not really wanting to say goodbye again. It was the first time they’ve been this close in months. Dean pulled away before Cas could hold on.

“Bye, Cas,” Dean smiled at him again before walking out the door.

That night Cas started thinking a lot, he started thinking about how he’s been lying to Derrick about who he truly was and Derrick only loved him for the facade that he put up. Derrick didn’t really know anything about him, he never told him about his family, and he never told him where he came from. He thought maybe Derrick deserved to know the truth. When Derrick came home from work, Cas told him to sit down and that they needed to talk.

“You aren’t breaking up with me, are you?” Derrick joked.

“No,” Cas said seriously, “I just thought it was time for you to know some truths about me. I haven’t been that honest with you since we’ve met.”

“Okay,” Derrick realized Cas was being serious and he got a little tense, “what’s up?”

How do you go about telling someone that you’re actually millenia years old and you’re an angel from heaven? “I’m really old,” he decided on.

“You’re only 38, dude. Are you having a midlife crisis?”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best way to say it. “What I mean is, I’m extremely old. I’m not 38. I was alive before dinosaurs were even thought of.”

“Are you drunk?” Derrick asked, squinting at him, “you don’t look drunk.”

“I’m not drunk,” Cas argued, “I’m an angel.”

“You sure are,” Derrick chuckled, “but seriously, Cas, what’s up? What aren’t you telling me.”

“I just _told_ you,” Cas sighed exasperatedly, “I’m an angel of the lord. My name is Castiel, not Castiel Novak. I took that last name from my vessel, Jimmy. Who you’re looking at right now is the body of James Novak from Pontiac, Illinois. He’s dead, he died because an archangel killed me and inevitably, killed him. I was brought back to life. That happens a lot. I moved here 8 months ago because I had finally gotten rid of a spell that was put on me by the most powerful witch in the world and wanted to live a normal life.”

“What?” Derrick asked, “this isn’t funny, Cas. Are you okay?”

“You ever wonder why I barely eat around you?” Cas asked.

“I just thought you were picky,” Derrick replied.

“It’s because I don’t need to eat. I lied to you about liking a lot of food, it all tastes like molecules to me. I used to like some things when I was human but not anymore.”

“Cas, you are human.”

“No, Derrick. I’m not,” Cas didn’t have the energy to show him his wings. The place wasn’t big enough anyway. Castiel walked into the kitchen and took out a knife and walked back into the living room.

“Cas, what are you doing?” Derrick started to look panicked and he stood up from his spot on the couch. “Put that back.”

Cas lifted up his sleeve and made a small cut on his left arm, blue light shined out of it. He then willed himself to heal and the small cut disappeared. “Is that enough proof for you?”

“What the hell?”

“I told you I wasn’t lying,” Cas put the knife back in the kitchen and told Derrick to follow him into their bedroom. Cas lifted up the mattress and showed Derrick where he kept his angel blade. “I keep this here just in case an angel ever came to find me. That tattoo on my stomach, it’s angel warding. This blade is the only thing that can kill angels.”

That’s when Derrick ran. Cas wasn’t that surprised, a human can only take so much of the truth but Cas decided he couldn’t live with himself if he stayed with Derrick and continued lying to him. Yes, he loved him but if Derrick actually wanted to be with him then he wouldn’t have ran out. He would have stayed and listened no matter how afraid he was. Cas needed someone who understood him and wouldn’t be afraid of him. He needed Dean. He knows he deserves better, but he could tell that Dean had changed since he last saw him. It reminded him of how Dean was before Sam got hurt, how loyal Dean was to Cas and how he actually showed he cared about him. Something was broke in Dean and he somehow mended it. Cas was glad. Even if he had given up on him 8 months ago, somewhere deep inside him still had faith that Dean was still the bright and righteous soul he had once raised from perdition.

Cas called Dean. He couldn’t just teleport to the bunker because he didn’t want to leave all his possessions here and he didn’t want to leave his cats. He wasn’t going to take Yoda because he knew Derrick would come back eventually to get all of his stuff.

“Hello,” Dean answered.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said, “where are you?”

“I’m about two hours from Pittsburgh,” Dean told him, “why? You need something?”

“I think Derrick and I broke up,” Cas didn’t think, he knew. He was still sad about it though.

“You think?” Dean asked.

“I told him I was an angel and he freaked out and ran.”

“Ouch,” Cas could hear Dean’s cringe through the phone, “Alright, I’ll come get you. Just bring what you need, I can’t fit your whole apartment into the Impala. I’ll be there in four hours.”

“Okay,” Cas hung up the phone and went into his bedroom. He changed out of the t-shirt and sweatpants that he was wearing and put on his old suit and trench coat. He looked like himself. He took the angel blade out from underneath the mattress and put it back up his sleeve.

He left a note to Derrick telling him how to protect himself if anything ever came after him and that he just needed to pray and Cas could be there in an instant. He hoped it would never happen but it was always a possibility now that Cas wasn’t with him anymore.

Dean was there in four hours like he said he would be and Cas scooped up his two cats and brought them out to the Impala.

“Really?” Dean asked. “If they get sick in my car I’m blaming you.”

“C’mon, Dean, you love them,” Cas countered as Dean opened the back door and Cas put them in the back seat.

“They are kind of cute,” Dean admitted.

“Exactly,” Cas smiled and walked to the passenger side of the car and climbed in. Dean went in after him and put the keys in the ignition. Then, they drove off together until the end of the road.

**Author's Note:**

> so i had no idea where this was going and this is a whole mess so i'm so sorry omg. but i hope you liked it bc i've been working on it for like 3 days straight without blinking even tho it probably sucks. WHO'S READY FOR S11 DO U THINK DEAN WILL ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE ALMOST KILLED CAS I DONT THINK SO LOL I HATE THE SUPERNATURAL WRITERS


End file.
